at first i thought it was the same number then I noticed it said GB and damn
As one of the tech review magazines said a few years ago when the first 32 GB micro SD cards came out, “At last it is possible for a single human being to accidentally swallow all of the data collected by the Apollo Program.”
Steve: did you just curse? Because we don’t talk like that in this god damn motherfucking house. Shit.
Thor: what the FUCK is UP [Thanos]
Bruce: is there anything better than pussy? Yes a really good book.
Natasha: *kicks cereal boxes on shelves while innocently pushing a trolley*
Clint: 🎶 fuck this shit I’m out 🎶 *leaps into a bin*
Nick: Bitch I hope the fuck you do, you’ll be a dead son of a bitch I tell you
Maria: I hate boys. Even though they’re nice and stuff I still hate boys.
Loki: Hey everyone, today my brother pushed me so I’m starting a kickstarter to put him down. The benefits of killing him would be that I’d get pushed way less
Bucky: do you ever like wake up or…do like do something and you’re just like “what the Heh-fuck is going on?”
Peggy: [you have a beautiful smile] thanks. You’re not that handsome.
Sam: so I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties….
Rhodey: uh I’m not finished…let’s get started. First off – oh my god can you let me do-
Pepper: Chris is that a weed?
Wanda: oH mY GoD whY cAnt yOu jusT tAkE tHe frEAkinG coMpliMEEEEEEEEEEENT
Pietro: *zooms up on a bike* Penis! *crashes into something*
Vision: that is not correct! Because according to the encyclopaedia of *weird tongue noises*
Scott: [hey how much did you pay for that taco?] aye yo you know dis boi got dis free taco-
Hope: Dad look! It’s the good kush
Hank: This is the dollar store how good can it be?
Shuri: WHAT ARE THOSSEEE???
T’Challa: They. Are. My. Crocks.
Okoye: Nah they usually tell my I look like Shalissa [who the fuck is that?] Me!
Nakia: Go back to sleep, and starve.
M’Baku: fuck it up, Kenneth. Kenneth, Fuck it up. Fuck it up, Kenneth.
Peter: It is Wednesday my dudes *tortured screaming*
Ned: Don’t fuck with me! I’ve got the power of God and Anime on my side.
Michelle: people say I can’t do what I love without college. Well I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger!
Flash: Stahhp I could’ve dropped my croissant!
Karen: ahaahahaahhhahahahahhhaahahahhahahahha laughin my fuckin ass off
Dr. Strange: *slides in* Good Evening
Wong: I’ve got to go home because I forgot to vacuum my room.
Gamora: You’re Not My Dad! You always wanna hear something! Ugly ass fuckin’ noodlehead.
Drax: Road work ahead? Yeah I sure hope it does.
Rocket: gIve mE yOu’rE fAckInG MonEY *dun dun*
Groot: *singing in Groot* you are my dad. You’re my dad! Boogie woogie woogie
Mantis: Look at all those chickens
Nebula: you ever play that game where your siblings are sunburnt and you put some spoons in the freezer, take them out and then hit them with it so it rips their skin off?
Yondu: what’s better than this? Guys being dudes.
Valkyrie: [hey can I get a sip of that water] it’s not water [vodka! I like you’re style-] vinegar. [what?] It’s vinegar, pussy.
Korg: …like 0 grams of Trans Fat and OH MY GOD cholesterol!
Grandmaster: Oh my gawd they were roommates
Ebony Maw: What if my nose was- lol I’m Squidward *hysterical wheezes*
Cull Obsidian: MY MAiN GOAL iS TO BLOW UP AND THEN ACT LiKE i DONT KNOW NOBODY
Proxima Midnight: this coffees bitter, like my soul. I need something black, like my soul. Fuck it’s cold, like my soul.
Corvus Glaive: *There’s only one thing worst than a rapist…boom!* A child?
Thanos 1: this bitch empty, YEET *yeets Gamora off the cliff*
Thanos 2: We all die you either kill yourself or get killed *dancing* whatcha gonna do?? Whatcha gonna do??
Thanos 3: Someone being annoying? Try Out of My Life. Works great on siblings and teachers! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!
Sometimes I think about how the way I met my wife was like a fanfiction
We both had a scholarship to a college soccer team and were the only two competing for center forward, we hit it off instantly and became close friends right away. When our team went to nationals, we had to share a bed and ended up snuggling (and I was, up until that point, absolutely not a physically affectionate person). After we returned home I kept sneaking into her room because I couldn’t sleep without her. Our friends started accusing us of being together and talking crap so, to spite them, we thought it would be a good idea to fake date and sometimes held hands and stuff. We ended up kissing right before she left the country for almost a month and we basically pretended it never happened, and when she came back it happened again and again and then escalated. Cue these lines, verbatin:
Me: *grabs the hand heading between my legs* “Wait, wait.” *sighs, drops forehead to hers* “We’re idiots.”
Her, breathlessly, eyes on my lips: “I’ve always been an idiot.” *swoops in for another kiss*
We ended up taking and decide to be friends with benefits, but JUST kissing benefits, no sex, and then 5 minutes later we had sex. We sleep together for a couple weeks (all the time, any and everywhere) before deciding to make it official, then after another couple weeks say I love you (initially via her closing her eyes and moving her palm from her heart to mine back and forth like a useless lesbian), then about a month later talk about how we wanna get married.
Fast forward a year and we go to university together and we’re roommates. Fast forward four years and we’re married and eloping to Harry Potter World and the beach. Fast forward almost 7 years from when we met and we’re living in the same hometown we first met in and she’s the assistant coach for the team we used to play for. Sex life better than ever (“that much great sex all the time after years together in fics is unrealistic” my ass), I can’t cook for shit but I try, we ride bikes around town and we’re basically the only gays in the village and there’s a little rainbow statue on the outside of our windowsill.
7 years ago I was so in love with her I could barely breathe, and I love her a thousand times more now than I did then.
Hey, that girl you made fun of for dressing like an emo, her dad dresses up like a pharmacist, makes useless machines and gets beat up by a platypus in a fedora. Yeah, it’s not always how it seems, so think before you act.
Being part of the social justice culture or the “stay woke” culture, I usually thought that the main purposes were to:
1) Unlearn what was taught to you
2) Learn what was never taught to you
3) Educate those around you with the knowledge you have
But you see…
You will come across people that will ask questions that may sound problematic but they just genuinely are confused about the matter and just want to learn
I had a white girl, sweet as hell, that was curious about why White people can’t say the N-word but Black people can say it.
Now… If this was Black Tumblr/Twitter, y’all wouldve ate her alive and spit her out. Like, why would you ask a question like that????
I didnt take any offense to the question, because again, you have to educate.
I broke it down simply…
“Bitch was a term used by men against women… If you call your female friend ‘my bitch’, theres nothing wrong with that… but if a guy did the same thing to his female friend, that wouldnt not look too good…”
Then she understood! She doesnt like when men call her or other women bitches but she noticed how women call each other bitches (almost) all the time in a friendly context.
Some SJW ppl would resort to just straight ridicule. Like relentlessly roast you, and you just wanted to ask a question, get your answer, and just go.
I understand some people would come outta nowhere with smartass comments and deserve that roasting, im 120% for that, but yall really need to learn the difference between those 2 groups of people.
I remember saying/doing something problematic not too long ago. This guy just went off on me, called me stupid, and vaguely explained why what I did was problematic. When I asked for a more in-depth answer as to why it was an issue, he didnt want to explain, he didnt have the “energy” to explain but had plenty of energy to say what i did was wrong and i was stupid to do it.
To this day, I STILL dont know exactly what was wrong but I am avoiding that action for sure.
To cut it shortly for yall,
Some people genuinely dont know what they do/say was wrong. Some ask questions to learn and educate themselves. Relax…
Ridicule or slander shouldnt be a first option to everything, if anything, its more counterproductive. Not to mention yall do this for notes and attention on social media.
Raf's rants 