nebulabutch:

being a butch means choosing between being misgendered and being treated like shit, it means your heart races and your palms sweat when you walk towards a public bathroom, it means you’re nervous to talk to kids in public because what if their parents think you’re a predator, it means people have no idea how the fuck to talk to you so they just don’t, it means clothes shopping is seven kinds of hell, it means your family’s at least a little bit ashamed of you, it means you were bullied before anybody even knew what “lesbian” meant, it means you’re hungry for even a glimpse of somebody who looks like you and speaks your language, it means strangers calling you a dyke if they have the guts to do more than stare, it means dysphoria and confusion and pain

but it’s worth it all and more to hear a woman call you “handsome”, to lock eyes with a butch stranger who’s not quite your sister and not quite your brother, to step outside in a suit for the first time, to strip off years of disguises and discomfort, to have a “Ring of Keys” moment, to be someone’s “Ring of Keys” moment, to play with a child who doesn’t care what you’re wearing or what’s in your pants, to fight back against the world for once and let go of your shame, to start to like the person you see in the mirror, to dance with a woman, to hold hands with a woman, to kiss a woman, to make love to a woman, to love a woman and be loved in return, to find community and solidarity and home when you never even thought you’d live to see adulthood. I love butches and I love being butch.