insufficientlykinglike:

Me: “can I get some Will to Live, please?”

The general store of my mind: “unfortunately we’re all out of Will to Live today. However, we can provide you with Passive Acceptance of Existence for a short period of time.”

Me, sighing and knowing I just have to get through the day: “Yeah, I’ll take it.”

The general store of my mind: “Thank you, that will be five gallows humor comments, please.”