amethystgypsy712:

Undercover Boss Narrator: Darth Vader is the Emperor’s right hand man, dedicated to wiping out all remaining Jedi and rebel cells.

Vader: Hi, I’m Darth Vader. I’m a Death Star Technician.

Vader: A buddy of mine saw Anakin Skywalker take his shirt off back during the Clone Wars, and he said Anakin Skywalker had an 8-pack. That Anakin Skywalker was shredded.

Tarkin: What?! Your friend’s a liar, man. Anakin Skywalker was a punk __. That guy looked like he weighed 30 pounds soaking wet underneath his little Jedi dress. *gets Force choked*

Tarkin: Dude Vader straight up sucks!

Thrawn: I’m 90% sure Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker.

Vader: I have a bombshell announcement to make, guys. I’m—

Thrawn & Tarkin: —You’re Anakin Skywalker.

Tarkin: I knew from our Murkhana mission.

Thrawn: I knew from “Hi, I’m Darth Vader.”