It’s being forced to shop online and spend more money because the store doesnt carry your size
Its “we only sell this tshirt in unisex in your size” [many places only offer “womens” tees large and below]
Its having to buy two plane tickets for one person
Its having medical conditions overlooked because of your weight
It’s having fat people in media only be comic relief or the villain [or not featured at all]
Its people saying to your partner “you’re with *them*?”
It’s being found disgusting for sweating – even when you’re exercising
It’s being considered a fetish
It’s so much more than being bullied by words, but for some reason, people seem to think if they dont hear someone actively saying “fuck fat people they suck. I personally think fat people should die,” then nothing can be fatphobic.
It’s having to overperform to be considered baseline competent and hardworking bc people automatically consider you “lazy”.
It’s having phone interviews go well only to suddenly face a cold reception and no call back when you have a follow-up in person interview.
It’s having strangers take sneak shots and harass you on the street for wearing shorts when it’s 90 degrees out.
It’s never being taken even slightly seriously unless you’ve put hours into your appearance (hair, makeup, clothes) to mitigate your fatness.
It’s doctors shaming you for your weight even though you came in for an upper respritory infection.
It’s mental health professionals suggesting your anxiety and depression would clear up if only you lost weight.
It’s constant counting calories and trying every diet and exercise regimen under the sun and reading study after study on the efficacy of long-term weight loss only to be told every other day (by people who have always been thin) how easy it is to lose weight.
It’s insurance companies more willing to pay for you to mutilate one of your organs than provide for further diagnostics to figure out the actual root of your health problems.
It’s well-meaning coworkers and acquaintances literally snatching food off your plate because “you don’t really need that, so you?”
And it’s being told that you deserve all this abusive treatment because somehow, it’s “good for your health.”
Since this thread has more on it than the last version I reblogged, I’m adding what I said on the last version here:
It’s paying extra money for clothes because they “have more fabric” even though the XS and L are the same prices as one another.
It’s being assumed to be unhealthy, lazy, unhygienic, greedy, gluttonous, etc., based only on your weight.
It’s having people constantly critique how much you eat- even when they eat more than you.
It’s feeling like you have to dress to the nines just to get groceries, or else people might make faces or take pictures of you without your consent.
It’s seeing people post pictures of people who look like you online, pictures that were clearly taken without knowledge or consent, so they can be laughed at or turned into a meme.
It’s having people say they would rather die than look like you.
It’s having people say that they think your brave for going out in public, because they could never let others see them if they looked like you.
It’s constant stares everywhere you go and feeling too self-conscious to do things like eat in public.
It’s people feeling entitled to knowing how much you weigh.
It’s people suggesting that if you want to be treated with more respect, you should try losing weight.
It’s people shocked to find out you have a talent, shocked to find out you haven’t always been single, shocked to find out that you’re anything like them at all.
It’s your insurance company charging you more because you’re fat.
It’s not always being able to fit comfortably in public spaces because they are too narrow.
It’s being blamed for everything that happens to you, for how people treat you, for how society is built.
It’s a lot more than just saying, “I hate fat people.” Yet no one wants to admit that it’s happening, and if they can admit it, they often think fat people deserve it.
Here are some other good responses:
[Image description: a comment by frostyemma that says, “It’s never knowing if people are laughing AT you or just laughing. It’s getting mocked for exercising, but criticized for sitting on your ass. It’s being criticized for eating, period. It’s having to psych yourself up to deal with being in public while fat. It’s breathing a sigh of relief every time a doctor DOESN’T mention your weight. Because who knew a sinus infection was caused by your fat thights?” End description.]
[Image description: a reply by vermouthfatality that says, “It’s having people run into you because you should be ASHAMED of how much walking space you’re taking up.” End description.]
– Mod Bella
It’s being constantly afraid that your partner is only with you because they pity you or have a fat fetish.
It’s spending HOURS crying in dressing rooms trying to find something that fits.
It’s never wanting to swim because your swimsuit dares to show your thighs/arms and you’re afraid of harassment.
It’s having to watch people up cycle “ugly” clothes for fat people that they found in thrift stores that you know someone could have worn.
It’s having people not believe you’re starving because of poverty.
It’s having people not believe you have an eating disorder because “you’re too fat to not be eating!!“
It’s being taught that you can never have short hair because everyone thinks fat people look ugly with short hair.
It’s being told that you shouldn’t wear contacts because your glasses make you face look thinner.
It’s feeling like you aren’t even human anymore, because no matter what you do, people are disgusted with you.
It’s wishing you could just lose weight already, even though you love your body.
Just because someone isn’t outwardly wishing death on fat people doesn’t mean fatphobia is gone. Until we dismantle the system that causes these issues, and make all body types accepted, fatphobia is still gonna cause people problems.
Other good comments:
[Image description: a reblog by twistwitch that says: “It’s telling people about your eating disorder and being encouraged to keep starving yourself. If you’re even believed, that is. It’s seeing a hundred thousand oh-so-polite little reminders that being fat is unhealthy in the comments section of any nice picture of someone who looks like you. It’s being a fat woman with thin women who are comfortable being your friend because you’re obviously not going to be able to compete with them for male attention.” End description.]
[Image description: a reblog by cheetah-reblogs-shit that reads, “It’s feeling afraid to admit you’re hungry, to ask for food, or to even accept food offered to you.” End description.]
– Mod Bella
It’s being told by your parents and closest friends that you’ll never find love because of how you look.
I might seem calm and happy on the outside, but the truth is, I am dying inside, because my stupid bra has been stabbing me for the past four hours!
There’s nothing more ugly than the culture of having children for the sake of having them. Too many people ask “do you want kids?” but not enough ask “are you ready for the emotional, physical, and financial sacrifices you will have to make to raise children?” It’s so ugly to me that people treat kids like a commodity, like a dress or a pair of earrings they just throw on. How dare you? That’s not a new car you can get bored of or discard in a few years, that is a person, and particularly a person who will absolutely be dependent on you for emotional support, financial support, discipline, and leadership; someone who you will have power of virtually every portion of their lives until they’re ready to be adults, who you will impact in irreversible ways, who will look to you for the rest of YOUR life and theirs for explanations about life and how they turned out to be who they are, for better or for worse. If you say you “want kids” but you’re “not sure if you could handle” them needing time and attention, costing you money, or you’re “not sure you can handle” if they turn out gay, or disabled, or transgender, or any other myriad of things that don’t really make your child any less of a person but which an ugly society can have ugly views on, etc. then you don’t deserve to have children. If you “want children” but haven’t thought about literally having to be there for them for virtually everything they will go through and ask of you, you’re not adult enough to have them.
And what’s so insidious about many of these same people is that they are the ones making their children feel guilty that they fed them, housed them, and basically didn’t let them die, as if this is some meritorious act, as if parents aren’t supposed to raise their children and not kill and starve them, as if they are some type of martyr that deserves praise for doing the bare minimum.
I just realised that our parents LITERALLY NEVER showed the slightest bit of interest in any of our hobbies or interests except when we picked up their hobbies or it was for school. Everything else was always, automatically annoying, bothersome and a waste of time and silly.
10 years later we still feel convinced that what we like will only ever be annoying and bothersome to others.
What’s fucked me up is that I’ve only recently realized that I actually isolate myself by hiding my hobbies and interests from pretty much everyone I know in real life in order to avoid potential ridicule.
Like, oh shit, that pattern of behavior…where I only share my interests with folks online…that comes right from feeling like there was no one else I could share my interests with back when I was a teenager.
Reading this helped me realize that I did the same thing for the longest time. Tbh I still do it. I’m still afraid to talk too much about the stuff I’m interested in to people that I love and trust. This is one of the hallmarks of childhood emotional neglect that can impact your relationships for decades if you’re unaware of this behavior and where it comes from.
It’s good for threads like these to exist so that it can assure other people with similar family household atmospheres that this is not normal. That they’re allowed to feel hurt over their harmless hobbies being harshly invalidated.
i know resting bitch face is like a joke thing but um has anyone ever talked about how profoundly soul-destroying it is to be told you look sad or angry or like you hate everyone when you uhhh actually are…genuinely trying to be nice or gregarious or even were in quite a good mood and had literally no idea you were even coming across as aloof or unpleasant
Resting Bitch Face directly translates to Why aren’t you smiling 24/7?
Raf's rants 